i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
