Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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