Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
