I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
