I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
