i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
