I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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