I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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