the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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