He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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