All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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