yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
