Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
