So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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