She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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