well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
