It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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