Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize