I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
