talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
that's an acceptable place to lick
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
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If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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