I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
