I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
