It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize