Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night

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  (734): I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night http://tfl.nu/yxun
  Replies (5) Good night (1342) Bad night (603)
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  (213): View more from California

  whats up tonight?

  (408): View more from California

  Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind

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  (213): whats up tonight? (408): Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind http://tfl.nu/m6ab
  Replies (2) Good night (1108) Bad night (503)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek

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  (613): the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek http://tfl.nu/bytn
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (3505)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?

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  (603): could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt? (1-603): you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call? http://tfl.nu/6h21
  Replies (13) Good night (1012) Bad night (2845)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?

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  (803): you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money? http://tfl.nu/t6x6
  Replies (18) Good night (5802) Bad night (656)
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  (646): View more from New York

  This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie

  (347): View more from New York

  It's not

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  (646): This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie (347): It's not http://tfl.nu/v5wf
  Replies (4) Good night (2070) Bad night (615)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.

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  (513): I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate. http://tfl.nu/sg11
  Replies (4) Good night (731) Bad night (1703)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.

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  (586): I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print. http://tfl.nu/m0e5
  Replies (6) Good night (1637) Bad night (714)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.

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  (804): Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many. http://tfl.nu/1pp3
  Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (426)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.

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  (240): okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party. http://tfl.nu/08ru
  Replies (5) Good night (1200) Bad night (519)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.

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  (417): Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like. http://tfl.nu/oino
  Replies (1) Good night (1235) Bad night (416)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.

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  (651): Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit. http://tfl.nu/rbgm
  Replies (1) Good night (699) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on

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  (508): he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on http://tfl.nu/t183
  Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (300)
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  (760): View more from California

  Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now

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  (760): Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now http://tfl.nu/y22e
  Replies (4) Good night (256) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.

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  (651): I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms. http://tfl.nu/li3p
  Replies (7) Good night (471) Bad night (132)

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