all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ