ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real