I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I want her autograph on my taint
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills