If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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