how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have already put on my inside pants.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
