Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
