i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
