I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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