this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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