He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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