I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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