bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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