Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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