i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
