You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
