I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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