Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
