i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
