i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize