I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The air was thick with penises
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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