NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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