my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
