By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
