Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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