I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
