I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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