Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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