u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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