I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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