found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
