Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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