Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
