I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
