it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
