you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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