So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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