ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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