i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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